Last Words on Death Row: Regret & Remorse

The Texas Department of Criminal Justice (TDCJ) has executed 503 prisoners since 1982. The last statement for each inmate, spoken at the time of execution, has been recorded by the TDCJ. This database of the last thoughts of those about to die provides some insight into how each inmate lived their final years. The average time spent on death row prior to execution in Texas is 10.6  years. That's  a lot of time to think. A lot of time to change your outlook on life. A lot of time to contemplate your final words.

I read all 503 statements and noticed several commonalities. They frequently contained goodbyes and words of kindness for family and friends, thanks for supporters during their trial and appeals, and religious comments and quotations. Just over a quarter of them expressed sentiments of regret and remorse for what they had done. 

Almost all of the remorseful final statements (97%) came after January 12, 1996. That's when new regulations allowed close relatives and friends of deceased victims to witness executions. The vast majority were directed at these witnesses and in some cases it is clear this was the first opportunity to make a direct apology for what they had done. It seems likely the number of remorseful final words would be higher if family and friends of victims were present before 1996. A third of the inmates executed after the change demonstrated regret compared to 4% beforehand.

I was struck by the sincerity and clear emotion in the written record of these final statements. It's not hard to imagine how difficult these words were for the inmates to say and for their family, and the family and friends of their victims, to hear. Some statements were spoken simply:

"I am sorry. I have always been sorry. It is the worst mistake that I ever made in my whole life. Not because I am here, but because of what I did and I hurt a lot of people - you, and my family. I am sorry." - Sean Derrick O'Brien (convicted of kidnapping, sexual assault, and murder and executed 7/11/2006)

Others provided a more-detailed apology for their actions and the lingering impact of them:

"To the victims, I'm very sorry for everything that happened. I am not the malicious person that you think I am. I was real stupid back then. I made a great many mistakes. What happened was wrong. I was a kid in a grown man's world. I messed up, and I can't take it back. I wasn't old enough to understand. Please don't carry around that hurt in your heart. You have got to find a way to get rid of the hate. Trust me, killing me is not going to give you closure. I hope you find closure. Don't let that hate eat you up, find a way to get past it." - Beunka Adams ( convicted of robbery and murder and executed 4/26/2012)

Many directly asked for forgiveness:

"To the victim's family, I am sure I know that I took somebody special from ya'll. I know it wasn't right, it was wrong. I wish I could give it back, but I know I can't. If giving my life in return makes it right, so be it. I ask that ya'll forgive me." - Bobby Lee Hines (convicted of robbery and murder and executed 10/24/2012)

And over half (55%) included religious sentiment along with their regret:

" I want to ask if it is in your heart to forgive me. You don't have to. I know I allowed the devil to rule my life. I just ask you to forgive me and ask the Lord to forgive me for allowing the devil to deceive me. I thank God for having patience with me. I don't deserve to cause you pain. You did not deserve this. I deserve what I am getting." - Angel Maturino Resendiz (convicted of murder and executed 6/27/2006)

I can't help but feel bad for these people based on their final statements of regret. Their last words give us a glimpse into their time in prison and frame of mind at the end of their lives. They seemed to feel real remorse for their actions and had given thought to how those actions hurt others. They found it important to express this regret in their final words before death. 

Pro Bowl Schoolyard Pick

The NFL announced some changes to the Pro Bowl recently.  There aren't going to be kickoffs, each quarter will have a two-minute drill and a few other in-game alternations, but those aren't the most interesting changes. Not even close. The big news is how the teams will be assembled.

Rather than aligning teams based on conference, NFC versus AFC, they will be selected via draft. The top-two vote getters will be named captains and take turns choosing players for their team. This Pro Bowl Draft will be held four days before the game and televised on the NFL Network (naturally). Fantasy football "champions" will assist the captains in drafting their teams. Also helping out, for marketing reasons, will be "alumni captains" Jerry Rice and Deion Sanders. 

The NFL can call this a "draft" if they want to, I get it, they want to attach their largely meaningless game to the success of fantasy football leagues. But let's call it what it is: a schoolyard pick. The questions started popping up in my mind: Isn't this just an opportunity to add more advertising to the game? Of course. Does it reek of reality TV? Absolutely. Am I more interested in the draft than the game? Of course I am.

This is a great idea...at least it could be. The first thing it does right is dispense with the idea that the Pro Bowl is a real game. At this point the game is a Hawaii vacation for the players and...I'm not sure what for it is for the fans to be honest. I can't say that I've ever felt the draw to watch quasi-football a week after the real thing is over. Let's just call it a pageant and make it a pageant.  Entertain me! The season is over. The long, dark, football-less days are upon us. Send the fans off with something fun!

I want this to work. I want to see captains snub division rivals. I want to see Twitter campaigns lobbying them to #PickPonder and Facebook pages devoted to "Team AP". I want to see the ever-growing teams huddle and debate the virtues and downsides of the remaining players. I want to see the last man picked jeered by his peers and play with a giant chip on his shoulder.

There is so much potential for something interesting to develop here. It almost makes me miss Joey Porter, Terrell Owens, and Ocho Cinco (or whatever the heck his name is nowadays). Almost.  

- Nick

@MrVigabool

New Amsterdam: Dutch Settlement and Failed TV Show

I was thinking about New Amsterdam this morning. You know, the 17th-century Dutch settlement founded on what is now Manhattan Island.  It was the capital of the New Netherland colony, which was eventually conquered by the British and renamed New York after some duke or another. Anyway, I was thinking I should reread the book The Island at the Center of the World: The Epic Story of Dutch Manhattan and the Forgotten Colony That Shaped America, by Russell Shorto. It is a non-fiction book that reads like historical fiction. Shorto does an excellent job using journals, letters, and other historical documents to tease out the story of the settlement. The characters really come to life and you can picture what it was really like there. I could write a few-thousand words on the book and colony but that's not the purpose of this particular blog post. I'll highly recommend it to any history buff and leave it there for now. 

So I was pondering New Amsterdam and googled it to find one of the old and very cool maps Shorto mentions in his book. I was surprised to see there was a short-lived TV show back in 2008 also named New Amsterdam. I don't even remember hearing about it but was intrigued. Work could wait for a quick trip into Wikipedia. 

New Amsterdam starred Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Jaime Lannister from The Game of Thrones, as John Amsterdam, an NYPD homicide detective. Unlike most police detectives on major network dramas Mr. Amsterdam is over four-hundred years old and has been living in Manhattan since he was fourteen. The reason for his immortality is fairly contrived - I'll let Wikipedia explain it:

"He was a Dutch soldier in Manhattan in the year 1642 when he stepped in front of a sword to save the life of a Native American girl during a massacre of her tribe. The girl in turn rescued Amsterdam by weaving a spell that conferred immortality upon him. It was also prophesied that he would not age until he finds his one true love, and only then will he become whole and ready for mortality."

Questions abound. What's love got to do with it, for one? Also, how does one define "true love" here? Is there some great arbiter of the heart standing by to pronounce John's immortality over, or is it a "know it when you see it" kind of thing? Also, if this girl can make some Dutch dude immortal maybe she's got something in her spell book to help her tribe out against aggressive colonists? I guess that would've gotten in the way of the plot. 

Despite this awkward setup, there were a few promising aspects of the show. It looks like they flashed back to show John at different points throughout history: arriving in the New World, fighting in numerous wars, and meeting historical figures. He had a whole bunch of wives, 63 children, and a bunch of dogs, apparently (his most-recent is named Thirty-Six). This creates the possibility of a whole host of descendants to track and stumble into. If done right these things could be really interesting. Judging by the Nielson ratings trajectory, and the fact there were only eight episodes, I'm guessing it was not.

The premise sounds fishy and the show quickly plummeted in ratings and right off the air, but was it truly terrible? Television that touches on history is very interesting to me, but I've come to believe I'm in the minority here. ABC and the other major American networks cater to the lowest common audience. This usually means anything high concept doesn't get much of a chance to develop and grow its viewership,or doesn't make it onto the schedule to begin with. That kind of thing really only seems to get a long look on HBO, AMC, and the BBC.

I'm not sure if this is what happened to New Amsterdam but I intend to find out. The full run of the show is available for free on Hulu. I have low expectations, but if the show was good I'll be back to rant about TV networks, crappy programming, and what it says about the American audience another time. 

- Nick

@MrVigabool

Utility Graffiti

Look around and you'll notice them. Different colored lines and symbols spray painted all over the ground. They are so common on roads, sidewalks, and lawns that you probably don't think twice when you see them. 

These marks identify the existence of underground utility lines. The purpose is to keep people safe while digging. Driving a shovel into an electrical line or accidentally excavating a natural gas pipe is not a happy kind of surprise. The colors and symbols are a warning and signify imminent construction, but they are also a code for what lies beneath our day-to-day world.

The "Uniform Color Code" was created by the American Public Works Association (APWA) to standardize the use of utility markings across the country. Each type of utility has its own color. The most common are red for electric, yellow for gas or petroleum, orange for communications, blue for water, and green for sewers.Symbols are often used to denote the width of the utility line. 

I find utility markings fascinating because they are a map to a subterranean world that we know is there, but can't otherwise visualize. Sometimes the map confirms what you might expect…

Like power lines running into a big ugly green transformer. Other times you get a glimpse of the unknown... 

Like this pipeline of water running under a walking trail I frequent. 

And here we can see where a natural gas line crosses beneath a road. 

You might see faded green or blue lines on the curb outside each house in your neighborhood. They identify where water goes in or the sewer line comes out, the remnant of some completed construction project. Marks like the one below one can be found on curbs all over indicating the flow of some vital resource. 

One of the most-interesting things I've discovered is the identification of manholes. 

There's one! Green indicates a sewer access manhole, but there are manholes for communication, water, and electric. I found a variety of interesting examples. 

My unconfirmed speculation is that the circled manhole cover with the slash through it means it is inaccessible. The pink numbers are a survey location marking, perhaps applied to the manhole cover because it will fade faster. Particularly intriguing is the last picture of what I can only assume is a buried manhole.

The purpose of these utility markings is to save lives and prevent injury and damage, but they also present an interesting opportunity to those of us just passing by. We get a glimpse into the presence of the vital network of cables, wires, and pipes running beneath us. This network carries our water, electricity, telecommunications and entertainment, and much more. It's the lifeblood of our world and remains largely invisible most of the time. Check out the map sometime.

- Nick

@MrVigabool

City of Heroes Therapy

It's been a rough week. The type of week where I feel too anxious, distracted, and otherwise emotional to find much pleasure in the hobbies that normally fill my free time. I find myself wishing I could play City of Heroes for a couple hours just to take my mind off things. 

City of Heroes (COH) is a superhero based "massively-multiplayer online" (MMO) game. Well, it was until the plug was pulled at the end of November 2012 anyway. In COH you created your own superhero. You got to pick your name, choose your powers, and design your costume. You then got to fly, speed, and leap around Paragon City at a heroic pace. You battled crime and beat back bad guys wherever you found them (which was everywhere). You made and developed "contacts" who gave you the scoop on the bad guy's schemes and directed you on missions to thwart them. It was a great game. 

One of the best parts was that you could team up with like-minded heroes, other players anywhere else in the world, and complete missions. This sense of community is what caused me to become addicted to COH for several years. I moved to Vancouver, Canada back in 2006 where I lived for two years. I didn't have any friends or family nearby and had difficulty getting settled. I had been playing City of Heroes for a couple years before I moved and had joined an active "Supergroup" (think the X-Men or Justice League) named The Watchguard. 

I got to know a few of the Watchguard guys well and we chatted on Skype while we played. It was familiar and social and provided some comfort at a time in my life when I felt lonely. The camaraderie helped quite a bit and there's something to be said about succeeding in missions with your friends, even if the accomplishments are virtual ones. We played close to daily for awhile and then weekly for several years. 

In time I moved again, got married, and had kids - which ended the weekly game nights in a hurry. When I came up for air in the parenting deep end I started some more diverse hobbies. City of Heroes had become free to play so we still got the gang back together here and there. I even played alone for an hour here and there. There's just something therapeutic about defeating bad guys with fire or a giant stone mallet that makes me feel better. I really wish that was an option this week. The game has a special place in my heart and memory and I'm sure I will miss it now and then  for many years to come. 

- Nick

@MrVigabool

I Want My Flying Car

It's road construction season here in Minnesota,  which gives me some bonus time during my daily commute to ponder things like who to blame for all the construction. I've decided to reserve some portion of it for Science at large. The reason is simple: no flying car yet. 

Science would probably point to the Transition, a plane that converts into a car and drives off, currently slated to be available in 2015, but I am not fooled so easily. The Transition is classified as a "Light-Sport Aircraft", which means it is more aircraft than automobile. You need a pilots license to operate it and can only take off and land at an airport. It's cool and all but look, George Jetson didn't need no pilot's license and I don't either. I also don’t  live or work near an airport so this just isn't gonna grant me freedom from our roads and the damnable construction that comes with them. 

To determine if there is any hope for such an escape in my lifetime I did a Google patent search for "flying car" and scanned the results. The "Counter rotating ducted fan flying vehicle" caught my eye, if only because I had no earthly idea what that meant, but it seemed to have some promise at first:

"The user has helicopter type controls available in the cockpit to make the transitions from an automobile driver to a helicopter/aircraft pilot in an extremely short period."

Unfortunately that patent has lapsed so no rotating counter ducts action for me. 

Counter Rotating Ducted Car Thing

The "Winging Car" has an active patent and boasts of "two jet engines at the rear" (numbers 2 & 3 in the image) when in flight mode, which I gotta say, sounds pretty awesome. The diagrams and accompanying description suggest it is a mostly-automatic transformation between car and plane. I bet you have to make your own Transformers noise while it happens though, there's no mention of it in the patent, a gross oversight that makes me question Yan Goldshteyn's design and ability to deliver my flying car.

Winging Right For Us Car

Here is one that looks like hover craft meets car and is maybe a bit more likely to come to fruition as it is held by the Rolls-Royce Corporation. That's the defense and aerospace side of the company, not the luxury car side, but maybe they talk to each other? I want my flying car to be pretty swank.

Hover Rolls

Some of these seem pretty cool and are a decent start. Sadly I can't find any that fold into a suitcase. Get on it Science!

Nick Vigabool

@MrVigabool

Songs For Running

I started running about a year ago to burn calories and get/stay in shape. Last fall I decided to take it up a notch and work on improving, and I started by working on my cadence. Your cadence is how many times your feet touch the ground in a minute. A faster cadence leads to improved performance: you take shorter strides and spend more energy moving forward than up and down. Less vertical movement means a softer impact for each step as well, reducing your chance of injury. Internet research and many experienced runners will tell you an optimal cadence is 180 steps per minute (90 when counting on just one foot). I'm not  in a position to refute them, but right now I'm most comfortable at about 165. 

To help me maintain my cadence I rely on a running playlist made up of music with a tempo of roughly 83 or 165 beats per minute (BPM). The idea is to make sure each foot touches the ground on each beat for 165ish BPM songs. For the songs in the 83 BPM range just one foot matches the beat with the other landing on the off beat. This simple tool allows me to offload the task of managing my cadence from my brain to my iPhone, a familiar pattern these days. 

It took some time and trial and error to compile a good playlist for my cadence. I chose songs that not only match my cadence but also help motivate me, especially on more strenuous workouts like a tempo run or repeats. You can check out my favorite 165 BPM songs in this Spotify playlist. For those that don't have a Spotify account, I'd highly recommend getting one, but here are the songs for now:

• Bridge Burning, Foo Fighters (170 BPM)
• Check Yes Juliet, We The Kings (166 BPM)

• A Day Late, Anbelin (84 BPM)

• Hiroshima (B B B Benny Hit His Head), Ben Folds (82 BPM)
• Hold On (Single Version), Ghosts (166 BPM)

• Hurricane, Something Corporate (82 BPM)
• Let's Go Back, Everyday Sunday (84 BPM)
• Survival, Muse (165 BPM)

• This Too Shall Pass, OK Go (158 BPM)

• Waking Up, In Stereo (84 BPM)

• Where the Sky Begins, Over It (162 BPM)

• Work It Out, Capital Lights (162 BPM)
• Worth As Much As a Counterfeit Dollar, Capital Lights (170 BPM)

Some comments on a couple songs:

Hiroshima, Ben Folds

You gotta love a guy who writes a song about falling off the stage and hurting himself, especially when that song is awesome. Apparently it is tough to see the edge of the stage with all those lights on you and the white tape that normally marks the "do not cross" zone was absent that day. It's a fun song and works well for running. 

Hold On, Ghosts

This whole album is good (The World is Outside) and for some reason it's not on Spotify. "Hold On" is a good song to go into "robo-runner mode" and just cruise. I like the moodiness of it, perfect after those aggravating days at work. 

Survival, Muse

This is definitely one of my favorites for running. The beat is perfect for my cadence and the lyrics seem like they were written to motivate one in the pursuit of athletic perfection...which they were. "Survival" was the official song of the 2012 Summer Olympics in London and was written for the purpose. The music video features scenes of triumph and defeat from Olympic games of the past. It's a bit corny, perhaps, but I like it anyway.

Worth As Much As A Counterfeit Dollar, Capital Lights

This band has a number of perfect songs for running. Very clear beat and easy to run to. "Work It Out" is on this playlist as well because I had trouble deciding which is better. Both always give me a boost. 

I'm always looking for more songs to run to. Let me know if you have any suggestions!

Nick Vigabool

@MrVigabool