Last Words on Death Row: Regret & Remorse

The Texas Department of Criminal Justice (TDCJ) has executed 503 prisoners since 1982. The last statement for each inmate, spoken at the time of execution, has been recorded by the TDCJ. This database of the last thoughts of those about to die provides some insight into how each inmate lived their final years. The average time spent on death row prior to execution in Texas is 10.6  years. That's  a lot of time to think. A lot of time to change your outlook on life. A lot of time to contemplate your final words.

I read all 503 statements and noticed several commonalities. They frequently contained goodbyes and words of kindness for family and friends, thanks for supporters during their trial and appeals, and religious comments and quotations. Just over a quarter of them expressed sentiments of regret and remorse for what they had done. 

Almost all of the remorseful final statements (97%) came after January 12, 1996. That's when new regulations allowed close relatives and friends of deceased victims to witness executions. The vast majority were directed at these witnesses and in some cases it is clear this was the first opportunity to make a direct apology for what they had done. It seems likely the number of remorseful final words would be higher if family and friends of victims were present before 1996. A third of the inmates executed after the change demonstrated regret compared to 4% beforehand.

I was struck by the sincerity and clear emotion in the written record of these final statements. It's not hard to imagine how difficult these words were for the inmates to say and for their family, and the family and friends of their victims, to hear. Some statements were spoken simply:

"I am sorry. I have always been sorry. It is the worst mistake that I ever made in my whole life. Not because I am here, but because of what I did and I hurt a lot of people - you, and my family. I am sorry." - Sean Derrick O'Brien (convicted of kidnapping, sexual assault, and murder and executed 7/11/2006)

Others provided a more-detailed apology for their actions and the lingering impact of them:

"To the victims, I'm very sorry for everything that happened. I am not the malicious person that you think I am. I was real stupid back then. I made a great many mistakes. What happened was wrong. I was a kid in a grown man's world. I messed up, and I can't take it back. I wasn't old enough to understand. Please don't carry around that hurt in your heart. You have got to find a way to get rid of the hate. Trust me, killing me is not going to give you closure. I hope you find closure. Don't let that hate eat you up, find a way to get past it." - Beunka Adams ( convicted of robbery and murder and executed 4/26/2012)

Many directly asked for forgiveness:

"To the victim's family, I am sure I know that I took somebody special from ya'll. I know it wasn't right, it was wrong. I wish I could give it back, but I know I can't. If giving my life in return makes it right, so be it. I ask that ya'll forgive me." - Bobby Lee Hines (convicted of robbery and murder and executed 10/24/2012)

And over half (55%) included religious sentiment along with their regret:

" I want to ask if it is in your heart to forgive me. You don't have to. I know I allowed the devil to rule my life. I just ask you to forgive me and ask the Lord to forgive me for allowing the devil to deceive me. I thank God for having patience with me. I don't deserve to cause you pain. You did not deserve this. I deserve what I am getting." - Angel Maturino Resendiz (convicted of murder and executed 6/27/2006)

I can't help but feel bad for these people based on their final statements of regret. Their last words give us a glimpse into their time in prison and frame of mind at the end of their lives. They seemed to feel real remorse for their actions and had given thought to how those actions hurt others. They found it important to express this regret in their final words before death.